Day 18 Lock-down Codiponte...
You know when the weather gal or guy gives the forecast and they say…
The temperature outside,folks, is a bracing 37F degrees. Bundle-up! And with that cold Northeast wind blowing now after the last weekend’s system passed out to the Atlantic, the Chill Factor makes the temps feel like a bone-shivering 30F degrees.
Well, what with Coronavirus info overload… could be worse than the actual virus?… newscasters and Internet news sites should caption any Coronavirus report with a Coronavirus Factor or Index. I will in the meantime. For instance, take yesterday’s shocker…
Buckingham Palace announced the Prince of Wales tested positive for Coronavirus. He is displaying some symptoms but otherwise remains in good health. We want to extend our Best Wishes to Prince Charles and to Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, who tested negative. They are in self-isolation in Balmoral. We would like to alert our viewing public of a Coronavirus Factor of… a sick sinking feeling, -100 for this news item.
If you are at all worried about the Queen who is in self-isolation at Windsor Castle with the Duke of Edinburgh, the CF will hit a -3,457… we cannot muster the words.
Let’s see how this CF will work…
We certainly have had reports this week. Numbers on infected and deaths unexpectedly spiked last Monday, while over the weekend they looked to be on their way down. I would give the news a CF of -150. That ought to cover the stress alone, if not a sense of impending doom.
The PM and government responded promptly with a new decree and quickly signed into law upping considerably fines & penalties for not staying at home. Fines now run from €400 to €3,000… or, about $433 to $ 3,352. Which fine price point depends upon several factors: the circumstances of your capture, the moods of the Carabinieri and, how far afield you had managed to sneak away to before being captured, and did you have the Coronavirus form filled out, etc. If you are caught breaking quarantine… shame on you!!!… up to 5 years in jail. Right on! I give this a CF of -2. Less than for Prince Charles, I know, but you see, I’m not keen on fines. Rebel American. And, I’ve got to slip out of Codiponte later to make a furtive run to the D’Oro grocery store. I am out of white wine! The store has the best price to selection of any supermarket in the Lunigiana. There is no other place to go to. None of the local alimentary have good wines. They also have no stock either on anything else I might need. For instance, bread. The little convenience shop in Codiponte habitually orders bread for the few but regular clients, all residents of our fair village. By the way, did you see the piazzetta all done up nicely in my previous blog post? Shame on you if you haven’t!!! So, by the time I think… Oh, gosh,! need bread… at 11:30AM… there’s none. Early Bird catches the loaf? I went early the next day and what was on hand was completely reserved. I did not go back a third time. I want my D’Oro! As for white wine… I am sorry, friends. I know we are experiencing an unprecedented Global health crisis and, everyone must do their part. My part, staying at home with a wired Weimaraner and without the benefit of Dottore You presence requires white wine. AND I DO NOT DRINK WINE FROM A CARTON. No discussion.
Damned, if the numbers for infected and deaths spiked again yesterday… a CF of -500, severe sense the light at the end of the tunnel has been lockdowned too.
Late Breaking News… The government is discussing an amendment to extend the State of Emergency until July 31st.
What? An immediate CF of -2,000. Without a doubt. My head is spinning. I feel weak. Psychologically constipation has hit and from too much isolation. Mental & emotional fatigue. You name it, I am feeling it, etc. Let’s make the CF -2,500. At his rate, the CF rating will expire from lack of numerals.
So much for that. Onwards…
I have notice a plethora of Italian flags about. What a fine show of solidarity in this Time of crisis. I give it a CF of +200. Warms the heart to see such an united front, doesn’t it?
Meanwhile, raising Moral is our friends over at Radio Subasio… Florence, Tuscany, Italy… which continues to rock us & roll us with an unceasing spectacular medley of Italian Greatest Hits. Naturally, the station’s CF would be +1,000,000… Yes, we are going to win this for sure. My favourite… and there are so many to choose from… is by Nek… yes, a weird Italian nickname but, he’s cute and HUGELY poplulare with our Spanish speaking brothers & sister… now experiencing the absolute s**t of Coronavirus… with his fantastic rendition of a song by Mina… Do you know of Mina? A GODDESS OF SONG. Take Barbara Streisand… tut-tut… and multiply her by 100. I will leave you…
Enjoy!
P.S. I braved the confines of lockdown and drove out in the great big world of lockdown to do some errands and did not run into a road-block or control. Thank the Good Lord! I went to the D’Oro grocery store, Miow-Bau pet store, a tabaccheria to pick up a package left by UPS, hit an ATM and, la piece de la resistance, stopped at my nursery to buy some necessary plants for if & when the fierce Russian winds abate long enough for me to sink the plants into Mother Earth.
Yes, I am a lockdown breaker but, it was vitaly important I go… NO WHITE WINE!!!