Don’t be alarmed. Nothing to do with torture. Not yet, at least. They do resemble bizarre crucifixes though. Must have been torture for Jesus. Gosh! Someone has got a birthday coming up. Those pictured items are only mini-fireplace end-irons. You found them at a mercatino… or, flea-market in Udine. Paid the whopping price of 2 Euros. TUB! applauds these sorts of inexpensive Euro investments. The tucked-away emporium was a NEW! find too. And apparently, ’twas a mother lode. You’s AUDI was jammed, jammed, jammed packed full of Goodies. Even the top of the passenger’s side of the dashboard had some Gs. Felt & looked like Christmas. I am a little amazed, being so encumbered & all, why You was not stopped by the Carabinieri for suspicion of thievery, in light of on-going events… the thieves are still loose & very much active throughout the entire Lunigiana. Il Popolo non e’ contento.
As Mr. Sunhsine crossed the December sky, You spent all of the Saturday afternoon unloading, lugging & unwrapping The NEW! NEW!! NEW!!! Goodies. Even past sundown. I was trying to bring closure with Il Poggiolo for My Return to Life in Genoa by cleaning & straightening. You made a mess. The result of being over-joyed. When in such a State of Ecstasy, he sings under his breath with a pseudo-baritone voice. You really is way too short for that but, I keep my mouth shut. The tactic, however, covers the tracks of his Joy. A private affair. By the time You had brought out a hand-painted jardinière of frolicking maidens twirling garlands into the real dim 5 o’clock light seeping into the Sala da Pranzo from the Cucina’s window, he was belting out Verdi! And, his singing never faltered, whether for a waist-high mock-malachite marble pedestal, a tall brass floor-lamp with a pergamena shade showing quaint scenes of an olives harvest… so delightfully apropos to the labors of the real olive harvest up on the slopes above Codiponte’s Commie Apt. House… a 1930s rattan recliner with a printed cotton mezzeri cushion, two large & furry badger pelts and… and… and well, a lot more Goodies.
Part of the haul were the pair of these end-irons. It’s going to be a TUB! Christmas this year! Hang onto your Santa hats & Elf caps… You has had a Happy Holiday idea. He wants to use the end-irons as table decorations for Our Christmas Day Family Dinner on the 25th. Just what exactly he has in mind has yet to be announced. While he cogitates, let me give some possible TUB! Christmas decoration ideas… however, since I have not had a moment free upon My Return to Genoa to descend down to Level -1 and forage around in You’s storage locker to pull out what there is in the way of Christmas decorations, I will have to give you brief written descriptions…
a) the Christmas Minimalist Concept might be placing the end-irons in such a way as to balance a HUGE Red Christmas ornament between them. The enormous orb was a gift from a grateful patient several years back. This will save us both from attempting to dangle the darn thing from the Foyer’s chandelier and TUB! is delighted by using what’s on hand too... b) boughs of alloro… or, bay leaf branches, again, intertwined to make a Yule-tide basket between the two irons to hold either the traditional clementines & chocolates or a motley array of Christmas ornaments… and c) string micro-mini-ultra-small LED in red, green & silver to link the two end-irons from either end of Our Dining Room Table AND, for the Christmas piece de la resistance, a tiny Santa Klaus might tip-toe across. This is very big in Italy… the Santa, no the LED. I can already hear Our Halls… i.e. Our Open-space Loft walls reverberate with My Call… WATCH OUT FOR THE CORD, EVERYONE!!!
Anyway, I think these TUB! ideas beats Martha Stewart by hundreds of… kilometers. Do you think she would know an end-iron if one were to bite her? Who cares? We are on Our Way to a TUB! Christmas.
Stay tuned for more!