There are many and one is nearly dire…
Computers, cellphones and My Preferred Companion, the Apple MacBook, become dumb and slow from the broiling heat. Punching any device’s function keys, say, to call up the camera on the cellphone to photograph what 41C heat looks like above Il Poggiolo, requires one to fall prey to hypnotisation by the whirling wait symbol, while the gadget thinks about it, ponders options and then, slowly executes the requested task. Click! A photo.
People are dull and petty too from this African heat. One woman in France, where the effects are said to be even worse than in Italy, wrote to inquire about renting the entire La Casa Padronale for herself alone, only to loose the chance by quibbling in several emails over how large is the garden… why is the house divided as it is… who else will be around the property during her stay… and do I offer special discounts for long stays… when… ALL OF A SUDDEN!!!… a confirmed booking arrived on my desk-top for part of her dates. I ACCEPTED and sent word to the French woman. C’est la vie. She said she’d have to look elsewhere. I wanted to write back a final word on her quibbling with the American phrase… Youz pays your monies and youz takes your chances… but decided against it. It would have been petty of me to have done so.
I don’t enjoy seeing photos of dead persons published in the media, as the Italian newspapers did for several days after the terrorist assault upon English tourists at a beach in Tunisia. So, I will not show you any photos of the floating corpses of the eight fishie-wishies gone belly-up in the Fish Pond in the last few days. Only the two locations of their untimely demise. Please note the magnificent foliage of our waterborne plants. Dead fish is a disturbing sight, to be sure. You was very upset by the news and launched a series of ad hoc commands, none of which have stemmed the rising death toll. Burials were conducted at dusk… earlier and one would fry in the sun… and was also the time of day when most were unexpectedly discovered… and the subsequent ritual was done with the utmost respect of Nature’s needs by donating the fishie-wishies’ minerals and vitamins to the hydrangea border below. Must be why we now have a couple of courageous cats loitering on the premises. They will undoubtedly encounter Our Resident Killer, Nina.
And finally, I have sought help from il mio dottore in conquering the physical effects of abject heat prostration… and this!!!… even from staying inside La Casa and out of the sun. Want to know the symptoms? Headache, winded, heart palpitations, dehydration… even though there are empty liter bottles of water from imbibing constantly H2O… difficulty with 2 + 2 =… and the best of all, unrelenting diarrhoea. Not that one can shed tons of white wine nourished flesh… You seems to never miss the opportunity of mentioning my corporal overweight charges… the steady commute between the Loggia and You’s nearby facility may help. I have also noticed a marked disinterest in eating of late. A positive by-product of whatall with the heat. I was given a powdered mineral & vitamin supplement… probably the same stuff tossed into the hydrangea border… and was firmly told TO BE QUIET… DON’T MOVE… DRINK UNTILL EXPLODING… and STAY INSIDE. Gads.