And now, something far, far away from Our Recent Concerns…
a gift from Dr. You. 900 Euros of intolerably heavy iron-work to serve as Our New Back Gate… if we are so lucky to find a Builder-chap strong & clever enough to install it.
I discovered an interesting notion… WHOOPS!!! Sorry… more like An Iron-clad Rule, about what is absolutely essential for an Italian and his/her house. I was caught unawares of… A House Ain’t A House Unless It Has A Fancy Gate Law. Your abode can be a hovel… a risk we almost experienced on the afternoon of the 21st!!!… or a Medici palazzo but… if it ain’t got no gate, well… you don’t got no house!!! I apologize for the Grammar. The bigger, the fancier, the phouffiest, the most impressive it is, all the better. I guess we win!!! We did so, thanks to the ten tone weight of the darn thing. Anyway, I would have rather had those funds devoted to cut & pasting back Il Poggiolo. I mean, we’ve got post-earthquake cracks to mend, once M.E. decides to be quiet for a goodly spell. But no!!! I was FORBIDDEN to use those Euro bills for anything else.
Two thugs delivered the gate, if threatening to leave the two-piece-gate at the head of the Medieval bridge could be said to be delivering it to Our House. These Thugs were highly recommended & organized by the Stud-sales-person, who bilked You, at the cheesy bric-a-brac store on the old Roman road, the via Aurelia, down Sarzana way. You loves the place. What can I say? The outside patio of the wood-clabbered strip-mall-store is strewn with large cement sculptures of dolphins, horses, a Venus de Milos or two, a Hercules AND even a frigging elephant FOR SALE and installation next to your, I would presume, rubberized inflatable swimming pool… for cryin’ out loud!!! 100 Euros for a hour’s worth of work, travel-time & lugging included. They arrived 4 hours late for the appointment. I did not set the hour. THE THUGS DID. Then, at arrival, Thug #1 zipped out of this truck’s cab and summarily invoked A Previously Known Law… one of You’s favourite… Over Our Dead-body will we drag this gate to your house!!! I told them then that they could go back from whence they came. Thug #1 called the Stud-sales-person. Thug #1 reasserted his Law. I was passed the phone to re-assert mine… the gate is to be taken up to the Courtyard of Our House… STOP. It was taken up to the Courtyard of Our House. So, I now have The Daily Reminder of… A) the vision of a totally unnecessary New Back Gate. I like the one we’ve got. Nina-beena goes right out between its broken spokes. Ease of escape is always important… B) it probably will not ever be installed since a) I ain’t spending My Euros, when I want to spend mine on Pasting & Painting Il Poggiolo back to its former pristine self and b) You’s gifts NEVER include installation or service… and C) the Italians need to come to grips with The True Notion Of A House = A Gate Does Not A House Make. Let us pray. Gads.
P.S. We have A New Calpurnia for L’Appartamento Azzurro’s Terrace but, for the time being, she’s resting on a solid table on the Loggia.